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“This is going to be amazing,” said John Power from Cast. “I love these haunted house rides.”

“Is it a ride?” asked Shakespeare. “I mean, it’s not a rollercoaster, is it?”

“You know what I mean,” said John Power from Cast. “Anyway, I think we do get into some sort of car at some point. This bit’s just the queue really. Creepy, isn’t it?”

“It’s hardly fucking terrifying,” said Shakespeare.

The pair took in the ambience as they queued. One room appeared to stretch. Paintings morphed into macabre images as ghostly sounds played. Eventually, they reached the front where they were invited to climb into a ‘Doombuggy’.

The Doombuggy stopped in front of different scenes and various tricks were used to scare the passengers. Shakespeare remained nonplussed, while John Power from Cast was rather more edgy.

At one point, a door banged right next to them. John Power from Cast jumped and reflexively grabbed Shakespeare by the knee.

“Get the fuck off me, you mop-haired twat,” said Shakespeare.

Eventually, the Doombuggy reached the balcony above a ballroom. Beneath them, a woman on a staircase was singing. After a moment, she looked up. At a window, there was a phantom, who laughed.

“Holy fucking shit,” cried Shakespeare. “Can you see that?”

“Yeah,” replied John Power from Cast.

“It’s a fucking ghost,” said Shakespeare. “We’ve got to do something.”

“What the hell do you expect us to do?” said John Power from Cast. “We’re on a ride.”

“Tie him up,” instructed Shakespeare, without a moment’s hesitation.

“What?” said John Power from Cast.

“Tie him up,” repeated Shakespeare. “Tie up the ghost. Tie him to a chair. That’s what I did last time.”

“Last time?” said John Power from Cast.

“I had a ghost in my house once,” said Shakespeare. “He said he was fixing the boiler.”


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Posted by Alex On August - 9 - 2011

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