“We waited almost 50 mins to speak with the manager, a young girl, who then upgraded us and gave us complimentary bottle of champagne for the mix up which they made. I disliked my stay at this hotel A LOT. The buffet breakfast was really nice but I pretty much had to go and get my own tea and coffee because the waiters ignored us.”

It sounds like a bloody nightmare, what with the free champagne, the really nice breakfast and being able to help yourself to coffee whenever you damn well please.

It got worse for AJ80Australia though. They go on to describe the Mangwanani Spa as ‘fantastic’ before slapping a 1/5 rating on the place.

What must it be like to take in their awe-inspiring splendour? Put-their-name-in-the-wrong-section-when-signing-up user of Trip Advisor, Oct2005, knows and they’ve told us:

“My boyfriend got punched in the back by a small child because he wouldn’t buy a postcard.”